Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
