How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
