yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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