He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
