i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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