i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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