I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
