i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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