Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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