Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
