sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
