I'm so fucking centered right now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
