I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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