I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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