I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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