Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
