so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
