roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need to calm my uterus...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
