my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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