If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
