i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
