Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
