she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
