if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
If that was your dad, he is hot
that's an acceptable place to lick
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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