what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i now understand why vodka
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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