Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
