Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
