I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
