just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
