Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
