We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
