Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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