i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
