I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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