yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
