Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
