Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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