I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
