she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
