She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
