I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she smelled like a LAN party
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
