3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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