Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
