my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
