now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize