with your own penis?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
