Where is the hickey?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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