i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
