Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize