My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
