This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
