i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
