so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
