If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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