I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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