there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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