garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i now understand why vodka
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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