Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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