I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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