So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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