K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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