My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
