Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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