Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
